Rest in peace, beloved Gina
GINA BEAN
Our loyal friend and companion.
Our beacon of light in all our dark days.
For us, the world did end in 2012.
We will miss you dearly.
8/30/1997 – 9/07/2012
I thought I wouldn’t cry today. I thought I could handle it. I thought because she had lived a good long life (for a dog) I was prepared. I thought this would be easier to handle than Oliver’s passing. Than Graham’s passing. I was wrong. So wrong. The past ten months have taken such a toll on my psyche.
I can’t remember the last time I saw her tail wag. I can’t remember the last time she played with her toys.
In the end not only did she suffer with the cancer she suffered through my frustrations. All the times I yelled at her to lie down. To sit down. To calm down… I’m not a good person. She deserved better. She was the best and prettiest dog anyone could have asked for. Stubborn as a pig in mud but that didn’t matter, she was smarter than all of us put together.
I’ll never forget the first day we brought her home. I was watching TV and she was already establishing herself as a very low maintenance pup. She had a huge head and a little body. I remembered that Martin episode where his girlfriend, Gina, got her head stuck in the brass headboard of their bed. And so we named her. I heard a whining behind me, I looked over my shoulder and there she sat, by the door, looking at me. She whined again then stood on her hind legs up against the door, still looking at me. We went out for a walk and she took one of the biggest dumps I’ve ever seen a dog produce! She was so smart.
I feel like I should be saying more. The last 24 hours, especially, were rough. She was so restless, urinating blood and not eating; not taking her meds. At 6am this morning she started to make these wookie sounds at us. I’m hurting guys. This ain’t cool. Can’t you do something?
Or am I just trying to placate myself?
I’m so drained. I can’t but help wonder did we hold on to her for too long? Did she suffer more because of our selfishness?
I’m so, so sorry Gina.
She had the neighborhood kids in her final days. Because of her affliction we were out so often, Gina became a neighborhood Rock Star. I think walking with the children made her happy. I’m so thankful for those kids. We owe them a pizza party.
Posted on September 7, 2012, in The Dead Console, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
So sorry to hear it, Beemer. Hang in there, better days ahead.
We all question ourselves over stuff like this with our pets. Bottom line… you DID give Gina a great home; you DID care for her probably better than any other person would have. When you brought her home you made a promise to give her a good home, and you kept that promise in a big way. So keep your head up, pal. Gina’s at peace now, and you should be too.
Thanks, man.
I’m sorry for your loss, AJ. I know she loved you and that she is no longer hurting.
Thank you, Eric.
beemer, i am typing this with tears rolling down my cheeks, for i know the pain you are feeling. you see, i also lost my little comfort companion about two months ago. although i now have a new little friend, she in no way takes the place of a friend of ten years plus. you have both my deepest sympathy and my heart felt prayers.
blessings,
marantha
beemer, if you have a good image of your little comfort companion, and would be willing to send it to me, i can create something that you can print out and frame as a memorial of her. go to this page and you will see what i am referring to. if you have doubts about the quality of my work, talk to eric swett, i did nearly all of his promotional stuff for APOCALYPSE RISING.
blessings.
you may message me back directly at words2ponder@gmail.com
marantha
BEEMER, I MADE YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU IN MEMORY OF YOUR LITTLE COMFORT COMPANION. IT IS ON THIS HIDDEN PAGE ON MY PERSONAL SITE….http://www.maradjenscreations.com/a-gift-for-beemer.html. I JUST HOPE YOU WILL LIKE IT.
MARANTHA
Thank you so much Marantha. I love it. I can’t wait for my wife to get home from work to show her. You’re such a kind and considerate person, don’t ever change. I know I don’t comment much on your site, but know I do read through it. Truth is the past ten months have seen me withdraw from society quite a bit and I haven’t been commenting on many of my blogging friends sites. Sorry for that, people.
Marantha, you’re a breath of fresh air in all the selfishness that surrounds us these days. Always stay true to yourself, never change. The world needs more people like you.
I wish I could say more here to show my appreciation but I haven’t been able to stop crying since yesterday morning.
I’m so sorry, AJ. Losing a furry friend is so difficult. These little furballs make their way into our hearts like little furry moles and become a part of us. When I lose Belladonna, my little beastie (a cat), it’s gong to be pretty damned difficult. But, that’s the price we pay for animal friends. We usually outlive them. When I lost my last kitty I tried to just be thankful I had her for as long as I did, and yeah, I beat myself up sometimes for not being a better mama.
Sounds like you made the right call with Gina. When she’s clearly suffering, that’s the time to let her go. Lots of Zen hugs from Toronto.
P.S. Not gonna “like” this post because it looks like I’m “liking” Gina’s death! But it was a great tribute to a good friend.
Thank you, Nicole.